Nurturing your couple’s relationship: parents with children

3 Dec

As parents to children, the daily needs keep us from nurturing the relationship with our significant other.  We are living at times that completely varies from past decades. Today, 24 hours are not enough to finish the daily chores that we need to attend to. The social and economic changes demand from us to change the patterns of our thoughts toward our expectations and values.

The changes of roles in men and women, although contributed to great freedom, brought us to great confusion and frustration. Both husband and wife need to work outside of home in addition to the responsibilities of being a parent. Leaving the traditional roles behind contributes to stress, especially if one of the couple feels inequality in role fulfillment. At times, there are discrepancies between expectations from one another. Every couple needs to understand how to meet these discrepancies. For some, the lack of compatibility between the cultural and religious values of the family and the daily demands put a tremendous stress on the relationship. The media also contributes to couple relationship stress in that it presents material products in such a way that it is needed and a must, but in reality causes frustration to those who cannot afford these tremendous financial burdens.

Changes in the work force can also put large stress on people through all stages of life, especially with young couples that cannot find suitable jobs or living arrangement and need to get help from their parents, if it is possible.  couple has their own set of relationship that develops in stages. When children arrive, this stage is described as a happy period; however, it can be a time of intensive stress, physical and emotional. The coming of children into the relationship influences each person differently.  The couple needs to rearrange their life differently with the coming of the first child. It might take some time to adjust to a new life style. At this time it is advisable to take time out from the children and to nurture the relationship.

How do you do that?

  1. Take some time for yourselves. Take a babysitter that you can trust at least once a week. Go out for coffee or dinner, wherever you know you can sit and talk quietly and pass quality time together.
  2. Keep the communication going – research show that anger and disappointment halt genuine communication and bring on failure and potentially break up marriages. Couples need to accept, respect and value one another. To talk, touch, and communicate. When communication stops, the marriage is not a happy one.
  3. Do things that you liked doing before the children came into your world. For instance, go to a rock concert, or just walk on the beach. Invest in intimacy, a good sexual relationship is good for your well-being and contributes to a happy relationship.

Posted by: Dr. Ronit Siso

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